Cue up your Manny Ramirez jokes

Terry Francona wanted to set the record straight.

"Let's put this one to rest a little bit," he said. "I had a feeling that would get some legs. ...

"He had dry eyes on this last trip, and he was blinking on a couple of at-bats. He went to the trainers, and rather than give a guy a thing of eye drops, we have really good -- what do you call them? Obstetricians?"

There was a moment before it dawned on everyone what Francona had said -- and before everyone burst out laughing.

"That would be bad," Francona said sheepishly.

Francona then explained how Ortiz will get his eyes checked out for dryness, not for vision, on Monday. General manager Theo Epstein later told reporters that the average big-league ballplayer actually has vision better than 20-20 -- so much so that if they only have 20-20 vision, the team looks for ways to improve it. Ortiz wasn't having issues with his vision; he was having issues with dry eyes.

That, of course, will be checked out by an opthamologist -- not an obstetrician.

"If he ends up pregnant on Tuesday, we have an issue," Francona said.